What Is Discernment Counseling—and Who Is It For?
A gentle path forward when you're unsure whether to stay or go
Not all couples come to therapy wanting to fix things.
Sometimes, one person is ready to leave—or seriously thinking about it—while the other is still hopeful. Maybe you’ve grown distant. Maybe the same arguments keep happening over and over. Maybe something painful—like betrayal—has changed everything. And now, the question is quietly lingering between you:
Should we stay together, or is it time to let go?
If you’re in this place, you’re not alone. And you’re not without options.
One of the most thoughtful and respectful ways to navigate this kind of relationship uncertainty is through something called Discernment Counseling.
So, what is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling is a short-term, focused process designed for couples who aren’t on the same page about staying in the relationship. It’s not traditional couples therapy where both partners are fully committed to working things out. It’s also not about convincing either of you to stay or go.
Instead, it’s about creating space—a pause—to step back, reflect, and explore what’s really going on beneath the surface. It’s a way to gain clarity on your relationship, your needs, and your possible paths forward, all with the support of a compassionate, trained therapist.
Sessions include time together as a couple, as well as individual time with the therapist so both of you can speak freely and be heard, even if you're in very different emotional places.
Why couples seek this kind of counseling
Couples usually come to Discernment Counseling when they feel deeply stuck. Maybe you feel like you’ve tried everything. Maybe you’re exhausted by the tension or the silence. Maybe you're just not sure if you're even in the relationship anymore.
Here’s the truth: making a decision to stay or leave is one of the most difficult, high-stakes choices a couple can face. And yet, many people feel like they have to make it in isolation—or in the heat of crisis.
Discernment Counseling offers something different. It offers a clear, structured process to help you move from confusion to clarity. It helps both partners understand how the relationship reached this point, what role each has played, and whether there's a foundation strong enough to rebuild.
What couples hope to get out of it
What couples want most from this process is clarity.
Clarity about whether change is truly possible. Clarity about their own heart—what they need, what they can offer, and what’s no longer working. Clarity about whether it’s time to end the relationship with intention and care, or to begin again with renewed commitment.
At the end of this process, most couples choose one of three paths:
To stay in the relationship as it is (with a clearer understanding of the stakes)
To separate or divorce with compassion and less regret
To commit to six months of focused couples therapy to actively work on change
Whatever the outcome, Discernment Counseling helps you move forward with more peace—and fewer unanswered questions.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
This isn’t an easy road, and there are no quick fixes. But if you’re facing the possibility of ending your relationship—or trying to decide if it’s worth fighting for—you deserve support that’s honest, grounded, and thoughtful.
Discernment Counseling meets you in that hard place and helps you move forward, one honest conversation at a time.
If you’re at a crossroads and unsure where to turn, we’re here to walk with you.
Let’s talk.
Book a consultation or reach out to learn more about Discernment Counseling and whether it might be a good fit for you.
